a day late...

...but i'm still thankful...

yesterday morning, nate and i had the opportunity to volunteer at the local rescue mission with some friends. one thing i overheard from one of the volunteers in reference to a mis-shapen piece of pie was, "beggars can't be choosers". when we got in the car, i started to tell nate, "Things you shouldn't say at a rescue mission..." and he finished my sentence by saying, "beggars can't be choosers"...so apparently this guy said it several times during our short two hour shift.

..."Beggars can't be choosers"...

hmm, that really bugged me. i realize that we are ALL one bad decision or one unfortunate turn of events away from also being "beggars".....i wonder if i could accept such a gift knowing the giver had the mentality, "beggars can't be choosers".

i was reminded of the passage in 2 Samuel 9 (read full chapter here), the story of Mephibosheth. David was annointed king and remembered and respected his friend, Jonathan. He asked, "Is there anyone still living from the family of Saul (Jonathan's father) that I can show kindness to?" A servant of his told him of Mephibosheth and he was invited to meet with David, the king. The story of Mephibosheth is a sad one....he was five years old when his nurse fell while holding him and he became crippled in both legs (2 Samuel 4:4)

when Mephibosheth met with David, he was rewarded with everything he would of had if his own father was king...he was just like one of David's very own sons. the verse that sticks out the most for me is, "What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as i?"

he considered himself "a dead dog"...utterly humbled by the fact that he was offered an incredible new life of royalty....

just like Mephibosheth, there is a place for me at the King's table...i'm accepted with all my ailments and insecurities....i'm a a beggar, crippled by sin, but awarded a life as a child of The King...i'm a princess....

i'm thankful for my seat at His table...

i'm thankful that although "beggars can't be choosers", beggars can be CHOSEN!

more of Him...less of "you know who"

you know what? even if you think you are doing something that looks like God's Will, sounds like a God-thing, feels like it's from God.....doesn't mean that it wasn't completely calculated by my own will....i was thinking about how much i want to "do" stuff...i really want God to use me and all the things that have happened in my life...but what about the details? - i think i make them up all on my own...i never have a sense of settled determination...i find myself waiting, never putting my ideas into action.

two things come to mind:

1. what am i waiting for?

and...

2. maybe this isn't what God wants

if i was SURE of God's plan, would i be twiddling my thumbs in delay.....and if it's NOT what God wants then i need to know what He does want so i can be there...appropriately placed and available.

sometimes, i feel i interfere with the real plan that God has for me...i just need to get out of my own way...

overwhelmed

it's late tonight as i type...nate is working tonight and i bought a ton of new music and i can't seem to turn it off...i think i'm gonna listen to all 6 cd's before finally greeting my pillow...

anyways, as i sit here watching the news, listening to my spirit-encouraging music, not really enjoying the solitude, but at least relaxing on the couch...i can't help but think about life.

life--i don't know...it's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. i mean, we are here. we were created. we have ups...we have downs...both are inevitable. think about your life...all the people that have come in and out of it...all the things you've been through that you didn't think you could handle...all the things that have happened that seemed too good to be true.

i'm overwhelmed by God's goodness.

i'm overwhelmed by His love.

i'm overwhelmed by His mercy.

i'm overwhelmed by His grace.

i'm overwhelmed by the awesomeness of His plan.

i'm overwhelmed by HIM!

i can't help myself tonight......i'm overwhelmed...and for once, in a really long time, it's not a bad thing...

thoughts re: warts

I wait so long to blog that i never really get to do a "fun" post...I'm always doing a boring "update"...err...if only my life was more interesting :)

so, lately, I've been busy, busy...good things...

busy with dr appts (see previous posts because I'm not going "there" today)

busy with church projects (so happy that I can be used in any capacity that encourages others)

busy with event planning course (still on unit c, but I'm loving it)

busy with event planning business ideas (more on this in the future)

sometimes being busy is good...in fact, I LOVE being busy! but often times, when you are busy, it involves lots of decision making...some very serious, life-changing even...some not-so-serious. regardless of the severity of the decision, I feel like for me it's easy to become quite anxious.


I REALLY liked this video from Andy Stanley!



wow, right? good points to consider and to practice. i'm definitely a "worry wart" (ewww...gross...who thought of that saying?!?!)

here's another great quote i found on my friend's facebook status :)

"In this crazy world, there's an enormous distinction between good times and bad, between sorrow and joy. But in the eyes of God, they're never separated. Where there is pain, there is healing. Where there is mourning, there is dancing. Where there is poverty, there is the Kingdom." - Henri Nouwen

I feel like this quote goes along perfectly with the A.Stanley video...our society worries a lot about H1N1 (i'm among them, for sure...being a germaphobe doesn't help), war, the economy, being laid off, financial security, homeland security..... the possiblity of becoming a wart is pretty high!

I think it's easy to sit back and say, "What is God thinking?"...especially, knowing that He has full power to change it all. How amazing to know that He knows our secret (and even not-so secret) fears and doubts!

Now, maybe you're wondering what "good" it does for God to know our fears and doubts if you don't see Him doing anything "good" with them...hmmm...

I don't have any pat answers for any of this...I only know what the Bible says and what I feel I know is true in my heart. I've had many reasons to ask God such things. I know that what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternally lasting...maybe, there are more things happening that are "unseen" than we could possibly know. I know that God allows things to happen for our good, our benefit, our growth and our character. I know that God loves me...and he loves you too! I know that God's word is MORE than enough...and I know that God's word tells us that God doesn't want us to live in fear, worry or doubt. I know that God made us in His image...and from even from the scientific point of view, our human bodies are amazing and full of wonder!

How can we wonder why God allows bad things to happen, but we never question where the good comes from? Or how can we give God credit for the good, but then wonder what's He thinking or discredit His power when it comes to the "bad"?

I think if we realize that "every good and perfect thing comes from above", we could be grateful to the God that gives us the good AND the bad. If we could acknowledge that God works mysteriously even using methods that seem unfair, we could be grateful...yup, even for the "bad"...because we would know that somehow, in ways I don't always understand...it's really for our good. I think if we realized that God was already in control of everything and we REALLY understood His sovereignty, we would feel ridiculous worrying about things....even things as serious as our health, our children and war. I think that when we say "God is in control", we think we are giving Him control...not true, He IS...ALWAYS has been...ALWAYS will be...in control...We have to admit that otherwise we could mislead ourselves into thinking that we have some power...and as long as we feel we can control things, i don't think we could stop worrying...we would have no peace. Even if we refuse to acknowledge that He is in control, doesn't change the fact that He is, in fact, still completely in control.....even over people that do not believe in Him.

so, this is my random chatter for the day...sorry if my thought are out of order...i'm at work! :)

not just words...

Sometimes, to my dismay, I read way too much into things...I've often been charged with this accusation...I'm a fault finder and sometimes it's hard to turn off, but today I read something into words that I think were correct to assume.

My husband wrote in a text, "I'll be there."

I smiled, knowing that he's dependable, loving, present, on my team, my best friend and everything I could ever ask for.

I know that they weren't just words.....they were a promise.

love him!!

pending

Growing Our Family: pending

Class Certification: pending

Hospital Claims: pending

Home Improvements: pending

Loss of Sanity: pending

What do you do when everything in your life seems to be in pending status?

Watch this video as a reminder of the best thing to do...NOTHING...just BE STILL and KNOW that HE is GOD!!!

makeover

Do you ever feel like just changing everything about yourself? Well, I know there's some things that I just can't change, but there's others that I can change!

Tonight I decided to go into the back room, unbarricade¹ the treadmill, remove the remaining debris off the top of it and actually plug it in...Did I exercise on it? You bet I did! I WALKED a half a mile uphill...and then died².

I don't feel better about myself; after all, my effort only proved how disturbingly out of shape I am.

I kept putting off exercising because...well, to be honest, I planned on getting fat...but the good kind of fat...the pregnancy kind of fat...and month after month, I just got more of the not good kind of fat....the nutty bar, late-night sundaes, KFC chicken pot pie, Boston Creme Donuts, fast food for lunch every day kind of fat...

Right now, I'm sitting on my couch in full exercise gear but unfortunately my gut is hanging out and I'm dreaming of coffee oreo ice cream...is that too much information? Hey, you know what? It's your decision to keep reading...

Part of my makeover is starting and completing the event planning course. Today, I started Unit A and finished my first assignment...after about 20 more pages of reading, I can finish my second assignment. I'm gonna get it done before the night is over...Well, maybe when "The Bucket List" is over. :)

What else am I putting on my list? Well, I plan on putting a facial mask on to take care of some of the...um...blemishes...ok, zits that I have on my face and I'm gonna paint my nails....

Short term goals: Finish another assignment, facial, nails

Tomorrow, I will look brand new!

Long term goals: exercise and eat healthier, take care of myself, become a certified event planner

In the future, I will be a successful event planner and people will look at me and say, "Hey, she is so put together! How does she do it?"

...haha...I'm such a dork!

and on that note.....did you notice my footnotes³?

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¹ "unbarricade" is not really a word so I wouldn't advise using it in any formal settings

² don't want to be misleading, I'm still alive :)

³ did my footnotes help or hurt the aforementioned dork factor?