"The deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray:

'Thy Will Be Done'."

~Elisabeth Elliot

Monday, May 17, 2010

simplify

recently, nate and i have made important decisions to actively simplify our lives. the last three years of our lives have been...complicated...complex...not any more.


circumstances did not pan out the way we intended or desired, but hey! that's ok with us! we are trusting in God's plan and we know that it's much better than what our limited brains could conjure up.

we moved into an apartment which puts us in a much better position from every angle. i'd go into more detail, but internet, i don't trust you so much :)


anyways, my point...


as we moved (and continue to move since we aren't completely finished yet), we had to make decisions on what stuff we were gonna bring with us. we moved all of our necessary stuff over to the apartment and have been doing fine without the rest...the fact is, we still have a house full of junk that we literally don't even need or use. i found myself holding an item in my hand and trying to convince myself that i DON'T need it and that i DO need it at the same time...sorta multiple personalities of me. my only argument on both sides is "i haven't used this in 5 years, BUT what if i NEED this next week".


new starts call for simplification...don't bring the same junk with you.


confession:


three years ago, i stopped praying.


well, i still prayed, but nothing like what i use to.


i lost intimacy.


intimacy with my Best Friend.


i prayed fervently at my little man's bedside...i was devastated that God didn't answer my prayers according to my desires. but, my desire isn't what prayer is all about.

i'm learning that.


i stopped praying because i began to feel that prayer was a risk. prayer is hopeful. and hope is a gamble sometimes.

does hope lead to a bigger devastation?? i think that's what i thought.
not anymore.
prayer simplifies things. negativity, hopelessness, self-pity.....they complicate things.
i cannot simply rely on the fact that God knows my desires, my thoughts, my needs. He longs to know me daily...for me to know Him. the Bible says that the prayers of a righteous person accomplishes a lot! i want to be productive in my prayer life.
so, maybe prayer doesn't change circumstances,
but prayer certainly changes me.
out with the old; in with the new

3 comments:

Anna Kristine* said...

"so, maybe prayer doesn't change circumstances,
but prayer certainly changes me.
out with the old; in with the new"

AMEN!

Trevor's Mama said...

Jaclyn,

I have felt the same way about prayer being hope, and hope sometimes makes things harder when they don't go as planned. But if we don't have hope, we don't have faith; and if we don't have faith, where does that leave us? I'm still coming to terms with God's perfect plan for my life - only now, I'm starting to understand it. Things that I couldn't see past, like losing my son, are suddenly becoming clear to me. I had to go through these things to get to the wonderful places my life is going.

You keep praying, I'll keep praying, and He will take us where He wants us to be.

Argery Araya C. said...

Que belleza encontrarse con un blook como el suyo que inspira fe devocion y confianza en Dios ,pues si no fuera asi no se moveria una hoja, por lo tanto hay que seguir orando cada intante que Dios te bendiga.