"The deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray:

'Thy Will Be Done'."

~Elisabeth Elliot

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

we are breaking up.

dear love of my life,
we need to talk.
i love you.
i always have.
i always will.
i always thought this love was mutual....
but lately...
i'm noticing that you haven't been treating me the same as you use to.
when we were together, i use to feel happy and content...
and now i just feel guilt.
i know we shouldn't be together. it's just not a healthy relationship.
it seems to be take, take, take and you really give me nothing but little to no self-respect.
we've had some good times.
staying up til late in the night. watching movies. secretly meeting in the bathroom.
you've gotten me through some hard times too...
emotional meltdowns, break ups, mid-terms...
you've always been there for me to depend on.
i know i just saw you a few moments ago and could have told you this in person.
i apologize for this public humiliation.
you really do make my heart beat a little bit faster.
i know i'll miss you more.
and in my weakness, i may want to return to you.
maybe it's because i'm getting older and i'm changing...maybe i expect too much...
maybe i know i deserve more.
but for now, Chocolate, we are through.
this is just the way it has to be.
warmly,
jaclyn, a secret fatty

4 comments:

Jodi said...

Jaclyn, You are so funny! At first I thought you were ending your blog, which I love to read. I'm happy it's only chocolate, but sad for you. I will pray you don't miss it too much.

Nichole said...

LOL - you are too stinkin' funny! I'm proud of you because I KNOW there is no way that I could handle this kind of breakup. ;)

Jaclyn said...

nichole, who am i kidding?!?! neither could i! :)

Natalia said...

This is so good, Jaclyn! I love your blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts through your talent of writing. Thinking and praying for you! ;o)