"The deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray:

'Thy Will Be Done'."

~Elisabeth Elliot

Friday, December 3, 2010

fears and faith

i have a long list of fears...here's a few for your reading pleasure:
people coughing/sneezing directly on me or into their hand and then shaking mine
vomit...terrified of this one
doctors...which is weird because i have one for every part of my body pretty much
cancer...because you might not know it's there until it's too late
rejection...because everyone loves to be accepted
failure...because i want to be really good at something
drowning...because...this is self-explanatory....
heights...because i don't want to fall
closed in spaces...because i love an easily accessible escape route
loneliness...because i love Nate so much...i never want to be without him
i have fears...a lot of them...more than what i listed here...
i have fears about my future...fears that i'll never have another child...fears that i've put other dreams on hold for so long and that one day, it will be too late....fears that i'll focus on one dream over another and i'll have regrets...
i've realized that the only reason these are fears is because there's some dark shadowing hovering over them...every one of these things invokes a feeling of uncertainty...
here's my faith...and it's a short list:
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path".
God's word tell us that He'll supply light for each step...and i don't need to know what happens around the bend where the shadow is...yep, the road can be uncertain at times...and that's ok...because He'll supply the light i need to make sure my foot is in the right place.

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